No me ist the eye.

Welcome back!!!

2010-12-01T23:23:00.002+08:00

Sigh, this is a moody post. Avert your eyes people. Escape while you can.

So what happened since exam?

I've been battling with inner demons (not a new thing, haha). This battle was not that hard, but repetitive. I have a severe sleeping problem, I sleep around 7-8 am. (?!) Still trying to change my bedtime.

I baked, and I cooked. I read, I watched series (Castle's nice, btw), I planned for Jakarta (oh, it's the one yang my mom ditched me)..

Oh. And I watched Harry Potter with Eera. Saw Rapunzel with my Seremban friends. Had a goodbye dinner with Nana before she left for Jakarta.

So.. That's it??

Hello!!!

2010-11-17T04:30:00.003+08:00

Movies I'm super excited/excited to watch (in no particular order whatsoever):

1. Burlesque : Cher, C. Aguilera, C. Gigandet - Musical [17 Feb 2011] *

2. Love and Other Drugs - J. Gyllenhaal, A. Hathaway - Romantic Comedy [13 Jan 2011]*

3. Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows : Part 1 - D. Radcliffe, E. Watson - Fantasy [18 Nov 2010]*

4. The Adjustment Bureau - M. Damon, E. Blunt - Romance, Sci-Fi [3 Mar 2011]

5. How Do You Know -O. Wilson, R. Witherspoon, P. Rudd - Romantic Comedy [3 Mar 2011]

6. The Roommate - L. Meester, C. Gigandet, D. Harris - Thriller [21 Apr 2011]*

7. Country Strong - G. Paltrow, T. McGraw, L. Meester - Drama

The Tourist seems alright, but I'm kinda into it only because of the actors; Jolie and Depp. The trailer wasn't that enticing. Ceh. :P

Words.

2010-08-16T15:12:00.001+08:00

Can make it or break it.

You ought to think of people's feelings when you say things to them.

True, it depends on the person whether to accept or not whatever people tell her. But that does not give you the right to be rude or insensitive cause to you only your matters, well, matter. The way you are saying it, your manner of telling people what you think of them is important. Just because you have the right point (maybe you don't) doesn't make the way you are saying it right.

If I can be respectful of your feelings, I expect you to do the same.

And just because you appear to be wiser than the others, that doesn't make you immune to making the wrong decisions, saying the wrong things.

Admit your faults once in a while. Don't act as if you are too good to have flaws. While we all know that no one is perfect, why not embrace it?
Sent by Maxis from my BlackBerry® smartphone

Sharm.

2010-08-08T03:18:00.001+08:00

Don't go. Please fight harder; I need you to. I can't read your mind. You just have to make me see that you care.

I'm waiting.
Sent by Maxis from my BlackBerry® smartphone

I am.

2010-07-03T15:27:00.003+08:00

Now I stand before you with my heart in my hands
I'm asking you to take me just the way that I am
Please lay down your arms, do you know me?
Make me feel safe from harm.

The road to hell is paved with good intentions.

2010-07-02T23:09:00.002+08:00

I blame myself for not throwing you both out of my car that time, for not doing something. I sat still and kept on driving. And listened to both of you, happily insulting them. Honestly, do you think that highly of yourselves? Stop thinking so highly of yourselves, you're not that great. Really.

Amazing, you are.

2010-06-26T02:34:00.003+08:00

Treat others like you want to be treated.

Some people really are amazing. Such a chameleon. Don't say something like that about my friends, ever. Seriously. Take it back.

..

2010-05-25T21:00:00.003+08:00

Upset. Don't go canceling on me at the very last minute lah! Dah la you didn't even bother calling to let me know. You just decided not to show up. Wtf?!

I don't know what the hell is wrong with you two, but I'm sure as hell not taking the blame when you know it's your fault that I'm mad. I've got a God-forsaken right to be mad. And like hell that I'm going to cling on and keep trying when obviously you don't give a shit. I'm done trying. YOu want anything from me, fucking earn it.

A song for you.

2010-05-17T16:14:00.005+08:00

You taught me precious secrets of the truth, withholding nothing
You came out in front and I was hiding
But now I'm so much better and if my words don't come together
Listen to the melody cause my love is in there hiding

I love you in a place where there's no space or time
I love you for in my life coz’ you are a friend of mine
And when my life is over
Remember when we were together

Christina and Leona, under one roof.

2010-05-11T21:41:00.004+08:00

How can I not go? Ma said fine, but I have to get the money myself. Can I withdraw from Tabung Haji? Bunyi sial gila, withdraw duit haji pergi tengok concert. =(

The cheapest flight ticket so far is around RM4800-Rm5000. Boooooo.. I need money. Ma said I can use duit gaji but I doubt that I get a lot of money.

Aunty Shahanaz is considering to belanja me if it's in Asia, prolly Singapore, but NY? Nahh.. Aunty Ta said to ask Uncle Jaai (Aunty Shahanaz's husband) to get me the tickets since he likes concerts. If he says yes to Kylie Minogue, why not Christina? But now I'm very doubtful. Sigh. NY is toooooooooo far away.

Am trying to buy Christina's Box Set (Ahaa! This one, I got money for.) through Harriz's friend in Australia, but he's (Harriz, that is) not being helpful. =/

This feeling sucks.

2010-05-11T01:09:00.000+08:00

And I go, "hahahahaha!!!"

2010-05-10T23:26:00.005+08:00

1.Today my friend's little brother came home from his first day of middle school. His middle school is called Pennichuck Middle School, and they have seven periods a day. Some older kid, being funny, came up to my friend's brother after period 1 and said "Welcome to PMS, how was your first period?" My friend's brother couldn't stop laughing all through period 2. He's only 10 years old. MLIA

2. Today, I was looking through all of my things from first grade. I found a sun that said, "The bright spot of first grade was meeting Alex because he is my best friend. He helps me a lot. He helps me when my crayon box falls and all the crayons come out." Thank you Alex for helping my pick up my crayons. MLIA

3. Last week, I went to starbucks and noticed that almost the entire place was filled with preppy girls. My friends and I decided to conduct a test. When the cashier asked for my name I said "Justin Bieber." I'm a 14 year old girl. I don't think I've ever seen so many heads turn so fast.

4. Today, I learned that the molestation of garbage cans is banned in Florida. Bummer. MLIA.

5. Today, I was talking to my friend about how much I hate summer and winter. In the summer it's too hot and in winter it's too cold, why can't there be an in between? I then realized, that's what fall and spring were for. MLIA.

6. Today I was on the way home from school with my dad. I was listening to my iPod and Fire Burning (On the Dancefloor) came on. Immediately afterwards Evacuate the Dancefloor played. I chuckled out loud. My dad looked at me strangely. I don't care what he thinks. I'm just glad my iPod knows what to do in an emergency. MLIA

7. Today I saw a group on facebook called "How do bus drivers shut the doors after they get off." I didnt join because i spent about 30 minutes trying to figure it out. MLIA

8. A few years ago I had written an essay for my health class. Now, my teacher was known for being a little absent-minded, but when she told me that she couldn't grade my paper I was skeptical. I assumed she lost my paper. No, she pulled my paper out of her briefcase to show a large corner missing. Apparently her dog ate my homework.

9. The other day, I babysat my cousin's kid. Since the kid is a trouble maker, I should have known the father would be the same. When I cashed the check he gave me today, the teller started laughing. Apparently on the memo line, he decided to write "You're stinky" Thanks. MLIA.
10. Today, my boyfriend asked me to call him Sir Georgio, instead of George. When I asked him why, he said it was because that name gave him the highest percentage on love calculator with me. I see why I'm dating Sir Georgio. MLIA

11. Today, I was in the shower waiting for the water to heat up, when I realized that turning the hot tap on would probably help. MLIA

12. Today, reading MLIA stories about weird laws in certain states made me want to look up my own. Apparently, It's illegal for someone to sing the alphabet on the streets at night in Kansas. Guess what I'm doing tonight? MLIA

13. Yesterday, my friend and I were walking down our schools hallway, holding hands; my purse was hanging where our hands connected. "Party in the USA" came on over the intercom - I scowled. My friend started singing and skipping. She threw our hands in the air and my purse smacked her square in the face. I've never been so proud of an inatimate object in my life. MLIA

14. Today, I found out that my little sister thinks I can make bugs bite her. Now whenever I say, "Mosquito, bite Charlotte!" She runs out of the room screaming. I think I will come to enjoy this power.

15. Today my friend and I watched the Ring. A few minutes after the movie finished, we got calls from a restricted number. Being very nervous, we didnt answer. Then the message was heavy breathing on both of our phones. It was my mom. MLIA

R.

2010-05-09T21:28:00.002+08:00

I miss talking to you. It hit me that day when H mentioned your name. Oh, how I miss.

Workin 9 to 5.

2010-05-09T01:08:00.003+08:00

Workin 9 to 5, what a way to make a livin
Barely gettin by, it's all takin and no givin
They just use your mind and they never give you credit
Its enough to drive you crazy if you let it

Dad gave me money, and I got sooooooo excited, only to be told the next day that I am now working for him. Chit. Evil..

Anyway, the time it takes to go to the office is about an hour, so make it two hours on traveling per day. Lucky me, I'm not alone. My brother is currently waiting for Petronas' job offer so in the meantime, he is my 'partner.' The perks of the job are that we get free fuel, any snacks, cigarettes (to Harriz's delight), whatever that is in the shop, basically. We could come in late (long as there's someone to do our job for us) and go back early (happens everyday so far).

Now, the problem is our working hour starts at 7am and ends around 4pm. Arriving at 8am is acceptable and 9 is already late. Now, since we take almost an hour to reach there, waking up at 6am makes us late for the work. Seriously, waking up at 5am is a bit too much for me. Leaving the workplace early is fine, since we usually get the job done by lunch. So, usually, around 1-2pm we are already on our way back. =) Thank God!

But the lady who is managing the station is going for umrah so we can't slack off anymore. And oh, have I told you? We work 7 days a week! Now, I would to propose that we only work on every other day to my dad, so we'll just see what happens. I'm betting on me losing.

Things we have to do and manage: Daily closing, shifts' earnings, prepare account statement, go to the bank for various reasons, count money, manage the staffs, order more fuel (seriously?) when the stock is running low, promotion campaign.. etc etc etc. Macam kerani pun ada jugak.

Ya know what? I don't want to manage a petrol station. Sumpah tak best. =(

__________________________________________________________________

Sorry Dad, will try harder and put more effort into it. Will stop complaining. =(

A hug for me, maybe?

2010-05-04T22:06:00.001+08:00

"Hugs will make you healthier, thinner, more relaxed, live longer, fight depression and make you age slower.

(http://whereisyourlightsource.org/freehugs.aspx)

Negeri Sembilan.

2010-05-04T21:36:00.004+08:00

1. Saw the words "Eden Yo" on a bus when I was a kid. I thought it belonged to a Chinese company. Eden as in Adam Eve Eden and Yo - I don't know. A Chinese surname? It made sense then. But recently I saw the bus again, and I tried to pronounced it differently.

EDEN YO = AIR-DAN(as in Danny) YOUR.

It means, it's just me. EDEN = ME. YO = JE.

So I asked my mom whether my second theory was right. Her answer? A 'duh.' face. (-_-'')

Stupid name.

2. I wonder what Hobin Jang Hobin means.

3. I find Aidil and Zaquan cute. =D

Do You Know Where You're Going To

2010-05-04T20:10:00.006+08:00

Do you know where you're going to?
Do you like the things that life is showing you?
Where are you going to?
Do you know?
Do you get what you're hoping for?
When you look behind you there's no open door
What are you hoping for?
Do you know?

Once we were standing still in time
Chasing the fantasies that filled our minds
You knew how I loved you, but my spirit was free
Laughing at the questions that you once asked of me

Do you know where you're going to?
Do you like the things that life is showing you?Where are you going to?
Do you know?

Now looking back at all we've had
We let so many dreams just slip through our hands
Why must we wait so long before we see
How sad the answers to those questions can be?
Do you know where you're going to?
Do you like the things that life is showing you?
Where are you going to?
Do you know?

Do you get what you're hoping for?
When you look behind you there's no open door
What are you hoping for?
Do you know?

Aguilera.

2010-05-03T06:47:00.010+08:00

Christina has changed. Her playing Dominatrix isn't really what I had in mind, what more lesbian-ish scenes and such. I really couldn't care less about her actual sex life, but to film that kind of video after you have had a child is.. I don't know, isn't so nice.

And it saddens me to admit that I'd rather see her naked than to see a barely-there-concealer to (when you see the vid you'd understand) 'cover' a certain area of her body. Kinda like GaGa, I have to agree. But you have the golden voice!!! You can reach the high E above middle C! You know how wonderful a singer you are. You are the only artist under the age of 30 included in Rolling Stone Magazine's list of the 100 greatest singers of ALL time. =(

p/s: I still love you very much, Christina. You're not twisted, you're just a bit into the dark side. Like what Linda Perry said. (I somehow find that sexy.) I love you.

Found it. xD

2010-05-02T23:45:00.010+08:00

While I was searching for keywords to describe her, Jesse McCartney's song popped into my head. (Hello, Nabila!! *waving* =D ) And guess what? He's right; she does have a beautiful soul.

1. True, people can be mean, but people can be a lot of things. She's maybe mean (like us) but most of the time, she's just kind. She's a genuinely kind-hearted person. The one that does nice things because that's just her. Not to impress anyone. Not to wow people.

Now, some individuals might think that I am biased, maybe I am, but for those who think so, you know I'm right. I am not biased, at least not in this case.

If only she would realize it.

2. We all know we can be a lot of things that we hate in people, but when we do it, it's fine. We ignore it. We don't realize it. But when we see some things we don't like, the same things that we are in other people, we judge. Maybe subconsciously, I don't know.

Or maybe we don't like some people because they aren't like us. They are so different, so in a different category from us, so ______.

And we think that we are above them.

It is not for us to decide whether someone should fail or not. It isn't a true-false questionnaire, it's a full exam paper; MCQ, true-false, and essay. So we don't get to mark our classmates' papers, just hand them over to the lecturer. But we can and should check our answers instead of bothering with others' before we submit our papers.

Study group for next paper, maybe? =)

p/s: I do hope non of us will fail the final exam.

Bionic.

2010-04-26T01:50:00.000+08:00

God, I can't wait!!! June 8th!

Revised ‘Bionic’ Tracklisting

1. Bionic
2. Not Myself Tonight
3. You Lost Me
4. Kimono Girl
5. Lift Me Up
6. So What You Get
7. Stronger
8. Monday Morning
9. Sex For Breakfast
10. Glam
11. Little Dreamer
12. I Am
13. All I Need
14. Birds Of Prey

Claro.

2010-04-23T03:01:00.003+08:00

Dear you,

I miss you. I miss how you cared for me, how you always make my day,

how you used to cheer me up, and how you always make me feel that you love me.

I miss everything that used to be. WHAT HAPPENED?

Love,

Reason.

2010-03-21T02:50:00.001+08:00

That's the reason why I need to go. Leave.

Of course it's for you.

2010-03-20T16:24:00.004+08:00

I don't know why I got soooo excited when I saw Razif that day at D'mamak. It's so weird you know? =)

He was my classmate when we were Standard 6 at KGV. We never talked much though he sometimes come to my house. (His elder brother's on of Harriz's bestfriends. - Rafiz.)

Rafiz gave me a necklace once. ;) I was closer to Rafiz than to Harriz/Razif. I know. My brother and I are not exactly best friends, but we are so much better now. =D

Anyway, Razif spotted me first, and called my name. Very loudly. For the whole D'mamak to hear. I turned around and there he was, smiling brightly at me.

All I said was hey. Then I came closer to his table and we talked for a bit. So he is still in UIA, studying Law. And he is still cute and fair.

Well, that's pretty much about it. __________________________________________________________________

I wrote the longest text message ever. 10 pages long, but somehow I couldn't press the 'Send' button. We'll see if I ever had the courage to send it, or maybe I would just pass my phone to you. Or you could snatch the phone from me. Maybe.

If you should die before me, ask if you could bring a friend.

2010-03-09T16:15:00.008+08:00

Where you used to be, there is a hole in the world, which I find myself constantly walking around in the daytime, and falling in at night. I miss you like hell. ~Edna St Vincent Millay

Remember, we all stumble, every one of us. That's why it's a comfort to go hand in hand.
~Emily Kimbrough

Having someone wonder where you are when you don't come home at night is a very old human need. ~Margaret Mead

If you were going to die soon and had only one phone call you could make, who would you call and what would you say? And why are you waiting? ~Stephen Levine

Sticks and stones are hard on bones
Aimed with angry art,
Words can sting like anything
But silence breaks the heart.
~Phyllis McGinley, "Ballade of Lost Objects," 1954

No road is long with good company. ~Turkish Proverb

Lots of people want to ride with you in the limo, but what you want is someone who will take the bus with you when the limo breaks down. ~Oprah Winfrey

A real friend is one who walks in when the rest of the world walks out. ~Walter Winchell

A friend is someone who is there for you when he'd rather be anywhere else. ~Len Wein

A friend is someone who knows the song in your heart, and can sing it back to you when you have forgotten the words.

A friend is one who believes in you when you have ceased to believe in yourself.

A friend is someone who reaches for your hand, but touches your heart. ~Kathleen Grove

p/s: You were the one who made things different, you were the one who took me in. You were the one thing I could count on, above all, you were my friend. ~ Tom Petty

Lame, but still..

2010-01-31T03:52:00.011+08:00

I am picking Pyah up tomorrow from the airport. First:

Meet Eera at KTM Seremban at noon.

I will decide whether Eera should drive instead of a sleep-deprived me.

Should've slept early. =(

Sarah stayed up well after I retired to my room, weird.

You should know by now that I don't have much to write about.

Oh well, since when do I write meaningful stuff?

(what the hell is pointless' antonym?)

Uuu, people, I might just have a crush on Jesse McCartney. Hahaha.

Sorry, Nabby. ;p

************************************************************

I'm gonna take a little time

A little time to look around me

I've got nowhere left to hide

It looks like love has finally found me

In my life there's been heartache and pain

I don't know if I can face it again

I can't stop now, I've traveled so far

To change this lonely life

I wanna know what love is

I want you to show me

I wanna feel what love is

I know you can show me

Burning up.

2010-01-20T21:47:00.003+08:00

My insides are burning up. So here I am, gulping down water to cool down.

Dined with Eera, Pyah, Farah, Farhah, Nabila and YANA! in the room. Pyah cooked rendang and Eera made some pancakes. Uuuu.. Joy! =)

One more day, one more class before mid term break. Yeay. Sigh.

I wonder what am I going to do next Tues-Sunday. Movies, anyone?

It's supposed to be a different title.

2010-01-17T19:14:00.007+08:00

There are no words to describe what I'm feeling now. Sighhhh. I need to be hugged. -_-'

Right now, I see a red pillowcase, grey T-shirt..

I know you have no idea what I'm talking about. But I do, though I may sound weird.

I missed then. But there's no way what we talked about then could happen now, kan?

Lazy bum.

2010-01-10T12:29:00.003+08:00

Something tells me I should check on my laundry and do some DMC homework and assignment now. But of course, I choose to blog and watch Friends instead.

I'll be presenting a case study this Wednesday, and I'll be having two Midterm exams on Friday (DMC and DS). And afterwards, the road trip to Ipoh. Somehow I don't feel so excited about it anymore. Sigh.

Well, next week I'll be heading to Cameron Highlands with my family. =D Hopefully the people I invited will come. XD It'll be fun! Foooooooooooooooooooooood!!! I haven't been to the Bank Negara's bungalow, but from what I've heard, it's nice. It better be.

I should probably go now. DMC awaits. Sigh.

Ooh. I almost forgot. Chanteuse. Haha. It's nothing. I just want the word to be in this post. It's a new word Paula Malai Ali taught me. Abaikan.

************************************************************************************

You are unpredictable, do you know that?

When it's hot.

2009-12-30T17:49:00.008+08:00

When it's hot outside, I become someone else; someone very unpleasant, someone very easily annoyed, someone very moody, and I hate it.

I talk less, I don't respond. I don't move around much, I get upset much easier, I get fed up.

And today has been a very hot day. I woke up late and missed DMC. BF got cancelled. Sigh.

If I did anyone wrong today, I'm sorry. It was purely unintentional.

Baby, are you down down down down down?

2009-12-29T16:40:00.002+08:00

Because I will lift you up. ;) I miss you.

I joined True Fitness *the crowd roars*. Hopefully I will fully utilize the whole 5 weeks membership thing.

Yesterday was tiring. We walked like nobody's business. You can tell I don't walk much. Duh. My nose bled twice. Twice. Once at Sg Wang and the other at 3 am in the solace of my own room in the Mahallah. Sigh. This has got to stop. Can't do much about it, just have to drink a lot of water. Just this noon I ordered Milo Ais, which was very stupid since today's such a hot day and chocolate makes my temp rise.

Ooh, I noticed that I have butterfly effect in my system. Can't really explain it, but I do think so. And I may have low tolerance level towards some people, but I'm not sure whether it's justified or not. Of course, in my defense I have reasonable reasons, you know? Some people just annoy me again and again, and I am definitely not as patient as I was before. Oh well.

Inspiration; that's what I need! To study, to live, to do anything, everything. Unfortunately Christina Aguilera's Inspire doesn't inspire me much. *GASP!*

A song I am currently in love with : Ribbon - Mariah Carey.

Oh no, don't you dare tell me I forgot to bring the iPod charger. -.-'

Bed.

2009-12-26T23:55:00.009+08:00

I'm craving some sleep decent sleep. Some nice, uninterrupted sleep. I wish to be in bed sleeping more than anything else right now. But! I still haven't watched the finals of Sehati Berdansa 3 (but I already know who won through Twitter-damn!) and the rerun is at 0200.

So, I plan to take a bath, sleep for a while before watching the show.

Twittering. Ciao.

*************************************************************************************

At times I understand you

And I know how hard you've tried

I've watched while love commands you

And I've watched love pass you by

And at times I think we're drifters

Searching for a friend

A brother or a sister

But then the passion flares again

Only words.

2009-12-15T22:05:00.002+08:00

Voda.

You failed me, right when I needed you most.

Pink.

Enough already!

Him.

Don't like.

Routine.

I like.

Her.

My precious.

Them.

Hurt me so often, I can almost predict it.

Dash.

I'm here.

Heart.

Be strong.

Bodice ripper.

2009-12-15T21:37:00.000+08:00

"Isn't there some fairy tale about a man who searches for the woman whose foot fits into a glass slipper?"
"Cinderella."
"What happens to me if this slipper fits?"
"I turn you into a handsome frog."

New Semester.

2009-12-07T14:28:00.004+08:00

Guess where I'm at right now? Library! I woke up at 6.45am today, drove straight to UIA, oh wait, I had a detour at McD for breakfast, arriving at exactly 8.30am. Amazing.

Then I headed straight to the General Lab to change sections. I decided to take Fiqh for Economist 3!! =D

Saw Amir but I managed to pass by him unnnoticed. Yeay!

So, later I realized I had to see the lecturers first, so I went to see them.
I'm telling you, Sir Gapur is HAWT!!! Effing hot. I think I blushed when I saw him, (retarded gila!). Don't ask what happened when he smiled at me. I better stop talking about the lecturer.
Hmm.

Fast forward: I went to the car and stayed there. Megat called and asked me to join him at the cafe since we both have class at 11.30. So I went and see him. He did the Hindustani entrance again, hiding behind the wall, peeking. Pfft. Megat.

So we sat and talked for a while before Syakir and Syazwan and someone else came and sat next to us. (Syazwan sat next to me. Syakir next to Megat.) Hahah. We talked a bit then the three dudes went to buy their food. Along came Alif, seating at Syazwan's place. The dudes cameback and Alif started to ask really weird questions.

Alif : Wey Megat, kalau lelaki tukar jantina boleh ke?
Megat : Boleh.
Alif : Kalau aku suka lelaki ni kan, aku nak jadi perempuan boleh ke?
Megat : Kau nak jadi perempuan ke, kau nak dia jadi perempuan?
Alif : Akulah.
Megat : Boleh lah.
Alif : Yelah, maksud aku tak salah kan?
Megat : Salah.
Alif : ...
Megat : Tapi kalau kau jadi perempuan cantik dowh..
Syakir : Haah. Cantik. *Smiles*
Megat : Kan? Kan? Kau nak jadi macam Fatine tu.. Lawa bodoh..
Alif : Haah. Fadzil lah! Hahaha.. Lawa gila. Kalau jadi perempuan, best... Senang jaga kulit.. Cantik.. Boleh pakai deodorant yang wangi-wangi tu.. Tapi satu lah aku tak ada *ehem*.. Hmm.. Ambik kat perut aku.. Tapi tak cukup.. Satu je..
Megat : Cukuplah satu.. Ok lah satu tu.. Hahahaaa..

Enough. You get the idea. I was the only girl surronded by weirdos. Finally, I went to DS.

Went out for lunch with Nabila, sent her to her class. So I drove back to Ameenah, tried calling the twins but no one answered. Can't check in cause they wanted my slips (confirmation slip and/or mahallah prereg slip) that I saved in Peera's lappies. The CC's server is down, so here I am, sitting alone at the library, Facebooking. Pfft.

Haaaahahah. I'm sleepy. We have family dinner tomorrow in Subang. I wonder how on earth am I going to go there. My family refused to pick me up, saying "Tak kan tak tahu jalan."

I guess they don't know me. Sigh.

*********************************

Why do we say things we can't take back and why do we miss what we never had?

Both of us fell to the ground and love was so lost, it couldn't be found.

Why do you tend to forget whose vain?

I'm tired of crying at the sound of your name.

Why don't we turn this around?

Love ain't the enemy, don't you wanna be lost then found?

Blog!!!

2009-12-05T02:03:00.002+08:00

Oh my god, the sem's starting in three days!!! Pfft!

I am at Eera's, hijacking her lappie while she goes for a private goodnight conversation with Pyah. Oh well, siapalah aku. Hahaha..

I sound like Farhah-bimbo. Hahaha. Sorry Fers. But for the first line of this post I was being Megatron. ;)

1. Corporate Governance is one fucked up subject.
2. Eera jiwang.
3. I want to actually go somewhere next sem.
4. I miss blogging. *sniff*

See you, people. =D

I Got You.

2009-11-13T13:28:00.000+08:00

A place to crash
I got you
No need to ask
I got you
Just get on the phone
I got you
Come and pick you up if I have to
What’s weird about it
Is we’re right at the end
And mad about it
Just figured it out in my head
I’m proud to say
I got you

Go ahead and say goodbye
I’ll be alright
Go ahead and make me cry
I’ll be alright
And when you need a place to run to
For better for worse
I got you
I got you

Ain’t falling a part, or bitter
Let’s be bigger than that and remember
The cooling outdoor when you’re all alone
We’ll go on surviving
No drama, no need for a show
Just wanna say
I got you

Go ahead and say goodbye
I’ll be alright
Go ahead and make me cry
I’ll be alright
And when you need a place to run to
For better for worse
I got you
Go ahead and say goodbye (go ahead)
I’ll be alright (say goodbye)
Go ahead and make me cry
I’ll be alright
And when you need a place to run to
For better for worse
I got you

‘Cause this is love and life
And nothing we can both control
And if it don’t feel right
You’re not losing me by letting me know

Go ahead and say goodbye (say goodbye)
I’ll be alright
Go ahead and make me cry
I’ll be alright
And when you need a place to run to
For better for worse
I got you
Go ahead and say goodbye (go ahead)
I’ll be alright (say goodbye)
Go ahead and make me cry
I’ll be alright
And when you need a place to run to
For better for worse
I got you

A place to crash
I got you
No need to ask
I got you

DM.

2009-11-09T01:50:00.000+08:00

Direct materials. Dungeons and monsters. Direct and mean. Darling and miss yous. Deep and meaningful. Darkest moment(s).? Sigh. I miss.

This is crazy.

2009-11-01T03:11:00.003+08:00

Be careful what you wish for.
I wished that somebody would call me, and my dad called and asked me to unlock the front door. Pfft. Scaary.

Managed to get out of the room to watch the rerun of Sehati Berdansa to catch Sazzy Falak and hubby, and of course, they were the last to appear. But that's fine. They were so cute!! 98-100-95 pts from the judges. Wooohoo!!

Tried logging in to blogger.com since forever but only managed to do so a minute ago. Typical. Right when I'm ready to call it quits.

Realized that the TV's airing Macam-macam Aznil, (I thought it was Tom Tom Bak) and since I had no clue what it's about I had to check the info. Sigh. No idea why I bothered pun. Change station. Next, next.

Ooh, rugby.

ADHD.

2009-10-29T13:49:00.005+08:00

Not thinking like I used to is difficult. It's like I'm not thinking at all. And isn't it fair to cover all possibilities?

But if I didn't say it
Well, I'd still have felt it
Where's the sense in that?

Sigh. Yeah, I know, I do go overboard at times. A lot of times. I'll keep working on it. Am still working on it. Don't want it to haunt me later.

Anyway.. the small talk with Nabila was fun!!!! See, I'm not the only one person who like human beings. People. =D I'm so looking forward to read to book of body language..

Oh by the way, when Eera tag-teamed with Farah to play nervous game with me, it was weird. Eera was doing great actually, scraing me, but when Farah stood over me, I felt violated instead of being scared! And what's with the voice, Farah? I' say you were trying to seduce me if I didn't know better. Hahaha..

Overwhelmed.

2009-10-23T09:27:00.003+08:00

By words I never thought I'd hear. It was a statement, it was not in a happy tone. And then I saw your face and I know that you're deeply upset.

Oh my god, what have I done?! Assumption IS the mother to all MoFos. Something I need to stop doing, at least for a while. Hm.

Anyway, I'm sooooooooo happy!!! *dance dance*

Can't you tell?!!! Heeeeeeeeeeeee..

=DDD

*********************

Uh oh.

I'm not happy cause you're upset, you know that, right? ;)

I'm happy cause we've cleared out the air. =D

Viva?

2009-10-22T04:16:00.002+08:00

I was sure. Now I can't say.

Why I love Gossip Girl. Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee...

2009-10-11T04:55:00.007+08:00

Blair: Chuck Bass I love you. I love so much it consumes me. I love you, I know you love me too. Tell me you love me and everything we've done all the gossip and lies and the hurt would have been for something. Tell me it was for something.

Chuck: I was a coward running away again. But everywhere I went, you caught up with me. So I had to come back.
Blair: I want to believe you, but I can't. You've hurt me too many times.
Chuck: Then believe me this time.
Blair: That's it?
Chuck: [pauses] I love you, too. (kiss)
Blair: Can you say it twice? (laughs) No, I'm serious, say it twice.
Chuck: I love you, I love you, I love you.

Chuck: How can you do this to me?
Blair: What are you talking about?
Chuck: I'm Chuck Bass. And I told you I love you. You're saying I'm easier to win over than a bunch of pseudo-intellectual homesick malcontents. You really insult me like that?
Blair: That's not how it is.
Chuck: It's exactly how it is. The next time you forget you're Blair Waldorf, remember I'm Chuck Bass. And I love you.

Chuck: Exquisite. Exceeding even my high expectations.
Jenny: I'm only here for the good of the school, Chuck.
Chuck: I'm only here for Blair.

Georgina: You're overreacting. The roommate thing is just a coincidence. My parents said it was either Bible camp or college, so ... go Bobcats!
Blair: So you're not in love with Jesus anymore.
Georgina: I still hold Him in my heart, but Jesus and I have redefined our relationship.
Blair: You mean he dumped you because He found out you were Satan!

Blair: [role playing] Waiter, this glass is dirty! And I've been waiting far too long!
Chuck: I apologize, ma'am. Surely, there's some way I can make up for the poor service.
Blair: I can think of a few ways.

Chuck Bass: We could never be boring.
Blair Waldorf: You say that, but I know you. You're Chuck Bass.
Chuck Bass: I'm not Chuck Bass without you.

Smallville.

2009-10-11T04:17:00.007+08:00

I'm so bored, I not only watch Smallville (of all series), I also went to www.smallvilletorch.com. Then with the password and username I managed to acquire from another website, I logged on as Chloe Sullivan and accessed her account. Ha! XD Seronoknyaaaaaaa!!!

Anyway, after logging on, I checked on the Wall of Weird profiles, Pictures, Torch.. And then it hit me! Check the Recycle Bin.

Sure enough, I found some deleted pictures of Clark Kent himself with Chloe Sullivan and "Dear Clark". .

I want to let you in on a secret, Clark, I'm not who you think I am. In fact my disguise is so thin, I'm surprised you haven't seen right through me.

I'm the girl of your dreams masquerading as your best friend.

Sometimes I want to rip off this façade, like I did at the Spring Formal. But I can't, because you'll get scared and run away again. So, I decided that it's better to live with the lie than expose my true feelings.

My father told me there are two types of girls: the ones you grow out of and the ones you grow into. I hope I'm the latter. I may not be the one you love today, Clark, and that hurts. But I'll let you go for now, hoping one day you'll fly back to me. Because I think you're worth the wait.

Damn you, Lana Lang. But then again she was the one who says "No, I have doubted you, accused you of things and still you're here, protecting me.I don't care if you have secrets, Clark. You are the one, good, constant thing in my life and I don't want to lose you too."

Home-sick.

2009-09-24T03:04:00.002+08:00

I wanna go home. I really do. I miss my home. Miss my dad. Miss my bolster. I miss normal people. Though Harriz's friends are okay, they're certainly not mine. Duh. I can't wait for the flight. Which is like 3 hours away je.

I bought TWO Christina Aguilera CDs for just $15!!! XD oh and cardigans, a sweater, two hoodies (Transformers! and something else). A pair of slippers; $2. Hahaha. A snow cap (I know.). A scarf. Two bags! Tapi same colour... =( Eh tu je???? Fine. I don't shop. Oh yeah, I also got myself a blouse, some boxers, a T-shirt and a pair of shades. And there are some bangles, and necklaces too. (Not for me.)

Oh well, I better start packing.

Acquaintance.

2009-09-08T03:53:00.004+08:00

You think you know better than anyone. You don't ever say sorry. You have the vocabulary of an extremely ignorant old woman in a very remote area, thinking she is the best person that ever lived. One question though; why the hell would you take your skeletons out of your closet, put mirrors around them; so that your life will seem more that what it actually is??

Yes, you create stories. Lots of them. They're so funny, you could be a comedian. If your stories were to be published, they'd be bestsellers. But then again, these stories are true stories , aren't they?

You're a joke.

Seriously. Take a look around. If you could do that to your own best friend and spread rumours about why you aren't best friends anymore, I'd rather not think what you would do to others. Tsk tsk tsk.

Congratulations to your fiance! He's landed the hottest, coolest girl ever. She's a model, works with celebrities, has big boobs, has a lot of cars, very smart (she knows everything!), owns everything..etc etc etc.. [Obviously I'm jealous of you. You're so awesome, everyone wants to be you. (-_-'') ]

You're one of a kind. Unique. Normal people don't go telling people the ugly truth in their lives, especially to strangers. Even the made-up stories. You're obviously a catch.

And oh my god, the times I spent being there for you. Such a waste. Oh well, let's move on now.

Let us all be happy and forgiving in this blessed month of Ramadhan.

God, I'm so glad I'm nothing like you. =)

Killjoy.

2009-08-24T00:31:00.004+08:00

Wouldn't it be nice to smash some cars? Oh God.

One should note read two romance novels in one go. No. It makes one sink into a state of loneliness which isn't so easy to get out from. Hm. And love scenes shouldn't be read before being in a marriage. No. Forget I ever said that.

Apparently being fatigued is a norm now. Sigh. What la.

I can't wait to see the doctor this Friday so that she can really tell me what the fuck is wrong with my head.

BF group mates- why on earth can't they send me some proper emails? How do you expect me to do the slides without the notes? Idiots. And seriously girl, your name is Spring Strong?! Ewww..

PMS? I think so.

Because.

2009-08-06T02:45:00.003+08:00

You see the wrapping however you want to. Be it nice and colourful, or torn and old. You pick whichever trait that you don't like and you made it his/her personality. You pick his/her faults and throw away everything else. You conclude. It is okay for you to do that and it is rude for others to do the same.

He/she is nothing like you.

You're fantastic, if not, why the attention, huh? And you pass judgements and let it be known to others and not the person himself/herself. You are always right. But if you had taken your time and slowly stripped off each layer, you would've found the truth. Take it or leave it; it still is the truth. It may be great, it may be horrendous, but the way I see it, it's the truth unfolded just like that, waiting to be accepted. And I accept it. And in my opinion, that person has a bigger heart than anyone else I know.

It's the climb.

2009-07-21T01:51:00.001+08:00

Mahallah Ameenah is so fucked up. Seriously. Aaahh!!! Penat tau menumpang!

Surprise, surprise.

2009-07-05T00:30:00.002+08:00

It's coming back, I tell you. However, I don't want to talk about it so, moving on..

17 Again's nice. but I loveeeeeeeeeee The Proposal!!! It was super-fun! XD

Eera said something us about going to Jalan TAR on Monday. What to buy? Oh yeah, I have no baju kurung. Darn. Eid's not that far away. Shooooooot. I have to buy new clothes, for everyday life, campus and Eid. =( I hate shopping.

Oh yeah, new shoes too.

p/s: Eera, remind me to take my shoes from you. Asyik lupa je.

Simply is.

2009-06-26T03:58:00.002+08:00

Because it isn't enough.

Wtf?!

2009-06-21T04:38:00.001+08:00

Did someone just hack into my account?! I did not put a picture of shirtless Nate Archibald!

So yesterday.

2009-06-19T21:42:00.002+08:00

I have a jerawat-ish thingie on my left eye. Pfft. It hurts. I can't rub my eye.

Final exam is so effing near. I went out with Eera yesterday; bought myself a new jeans. Yeay!!!

Anyway, you wouldn't believe what happened yesterday. As I got off from the bus at 3-4pm yesterday, I was in a foul mood. Terrible. It was extremely hot in Pasar Seni, and I was wearing cardigan as my top was kinda short, so I couldn't take it off. Anyway, there was this person walking in front of me when I was walking towards the LRT station. Further ahead, there was this dude, Joe Flizzow-wannabe, maybe? I couldn't care less.

Well, when the person in front of me kinda get close to him, he got closer. And started to rap. I'm not kidding. But then, this person somehow managed to avoid him and walked straight to the LRT station; meaning leaving me to walk near this Joe dude. So, Joe went nearer to me, with his bald head, earphones and all, and started rapping. Crazy. I had to slow down because he was in my way. When I started cut him, he blocked me and dance. Or whatever rappers do. I think it was the moon walkthing. I grunted. I wanted to push him. Time passed. He was so slow! People started to look at us. Why not? Someone was rapping and dancing in the middle of Pasar Seni. Tengah panas! I turned left, he turned left. Right, and so did he. He kept blocking me. I was so pissed, I was about to hit him (honestly! I was in a foul mood remember) with a bag full of books when he turned around and said something to me.

"Bang Bang Boom, TV. Please. " I was so confused and pissed. And I made a face and walked right pass him.

Then it hit me. I've heard of that show. It's "Just for Laughs" kinda show. Shit. I was on camera. Fuck! I turned around, and there it was, covered by a booth. I was on camera. Damnation people, damnation. I hope I won't be on the show. Chances are, I'm gonna be on it. Hey, why not, he finished dancing by the time I was gonna hit him.

p/s: I miss you =(

And then I see your face.

2009-06-18T03:57:00.005+08:00

Finally. Yes. Thank you God.

The Best Thing. Even though it's an ad.

Hugh Jackman excites me. XD

If I tell you I love you, can I keep you forever?

2009-06-17T23:54:00.010+08:00

" When you love someone,
And you love them with your heart,
It never disappears,
When you're apart.
And when you love someone
And you've done all you can do,
You set them free,
And if that love was true...
When you love someone
It will all come back to you.” - Forget Paris

" When you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible." - When Harry Met Sally

" I’ve kissed a guy... I’ve kissed guys. I just haven’t felt that thing.... That thing... that moment when you kiss someone and everything around you becomes hazy, and the only thing in focus is you and this person. And you realize that that person is the only person you’re supposed to kiss for the rest of your life. And for one moment you get this amazing gift. And you wanna laugh and you wanna cry, ‘cause you feel so lucky that you’ve found it, and so scared that it’ll go away all at the same time." - Never Been Kissed

" I hate the way you talk to me, and the way you cut your hair. I hate the way you drive my car. I hate it when you stare. I hate your big dumb combat boots, and the way you read my mind. I hate you so much it makes me sick; it even makes me rhyme. I hate it, I hate the way you're always right. I hate it when you lie. I hate it when you make me laugh, even worse when you make me cry. I hate it that you're not around, and the fact that you didn't call. But mostly I hate the way I don't hate you. Not even close, not even a little bit, not even at all." - Ten Things I Hate About You

" Sometimes I wish I had never met you. Because then I could go to sleep at night not knowing there was someone like you out there.” - Good Will Hunting

Again.

2009-06-17T22:09:00.003+08:00

Since you know my heart is so fragile (I bet), why won't you handle it with care?

Who am I to judge your taste?

2009-06-14T00:35:00.002+08:00

I've just found out that of all my crushes (now ex-crushes), at least half are drinkers. Two of them have beer bellies. (It looks like it.)

I doubt any of them are virgins. (I don't expect much pun. I just prefer not knowing if he's not. Maybe.) Hmm. Joshua's too hot to maintain his virginity. Shahzan, well let's say Royals have their ways. Amir? Long gone, baby. Ed too. Johan too. Another dude, let's not mention his name, has long hair and apparently is an abuser. What happened?!!!

='(

For my sake, my children's sake, I need to change my taste. Nooooooooooo!!!!!!!

I want Joshua, still.

New.

2009-06-13T00:05:00.002+08:00

It's time to change.

New password. New settings. New page. New internet thing. New attitude. (Hopefully.)

I've started 6 mins ago, at midnight. We'll see what happens next.

Kids. Girls. Daughters.

2009-06-12T01:27:00.009+08:00

Neighbours!

I miss them.
Left to right (adults): Aliaa, Aunty Sharifah, Kak Nina.
Kids (top to bottom): Iman, Jannah, Hajar.

Meet Kak Nina and her family. The person I looked up to when I was young. She's smart, and fun, and pretty and Kak Nina-ish. ;)

Kak Nina doesn't look like JLo anymore, she's more like Preity Zinta, ahaha.

With her husband Abang G. Pregnant at the time.

I want daughters too!!!

What a family. I want to have my own.

Slight smile.

2009-06-01T04:59:00.003+08:00

"A mighty pain to love it is,
And 'tis a pain that pain to miss;
But of all pains, the greatest pain
It is to love, but love in vain."

"And then, there's another kind of love: the cruelest kind. The one that almost kills its victims. Its called unrequited love. Of that I am an expert. Most love stories are about people who fall in love with each other. But what about the rest of us? What about our stories, those of us who fall in love alone? We are the victims of the one sided affair. We are the cursed of the loved ones. We are the unloved ones, the walking wounded. The handicapped without the advantage of a great parking space!"

Ouch.

2009-06-01T04:00:00.002+08:00

Ouch. That hurts. Hmm.

You.

2009-05-31T01:11:00.002+08:00

Somehow you can always get on my nerves even when I'm perfectly happy.
Sometimes you annoy me to the core, like when you call me non stop from the kitchen (yelling is more like it) just to reheat your cup of Nescafe.
Or when I'm sleeping or doing something in the room and you call me (again, non-stop) even after I answered and let you know I was doing something just cause you want to see my face.

But sometimes you do things that touch my heart, and I'm so sorry that I don't tell you that I love you like I used to when I was smaller.

Remember when I cried because I was tensed and having a lot of homeworks and I had to iron my own clothes (I was ironing when I cried)? You ironed all my clothes so that I can focus on something else.
And when you sent me to Matric almost everyday (after sending Sarah and Rina to school) when I was in third sem so that I don't have to take public transport. You will send me just because you don't want to see me rushing here and there. And afterwards, you'd go back home and get back to work, eventhough it means driving from Seremban to KL and to Seremban again just for me, what's with the jam and all.
And when you send me food even when you're having appointments because ZC's cafe closed and I was too lazy to go to Aroma to find food.
Like when I insisted that you pick me up from Eera's some time ago. I thought you were in the city, so you should pick me up like a good dad would. Instead, you drove from Seremban, being terribly ill, to pick me up at Eera's and drove back home.
And when you send me messages when I really need them, God knows how much I love you.

I'm sorry that I asked you to shut up when you were making stupid jokes, just like your son. I forgot that you're my father not my brother. I'm sorry that I gave you the silent treatment in the car last night.

I love the fact that you remember me. And when you massaged my head when I have terrible migraines and my legs when I have cramps (I don't know how it works but it did). Like today, when you woke me up to have breakfast with you because we haven't had the time to dine together for quite sometime. And the fact that you've been searching everywhere for pears because I wanted some. You even served ice cream with fruits to us before lunch.

I miss dancing with you, wrestling with you, singing with you and just be with you. I miss you coming back from work to scratch my back so that I can sleep. I miss a lot of things.

There are a lot of amazing things that you did for me, for us, and I never told you how much they mean to me. I deeply regret not doing that.

I love you Pa. I really do. I'm sorry I didn't tell you like I used to do when I was little.

Aidan.

2009-05-27T12:21:00.004+08:00

Wow. I thought Flawless was cool and Diversity's impressive, but this leaves me speechless. Click here for Aidan Davis' performance. He's waaaaaaay better that George Sampson (who is also very good). The best so far. =)

Hmm.

2009-05-26T23:25:00.002+08:00

Eera and Izra told me I talk in my sleep. Pfft. Scary. I talk a lot, even when asleep also want to talk ah?

Plan Mariah failed with flying colours. Hmm. I want ice lemon tea. Eera's reading. =(

I miss home and normal stuff.

Mariah "Hot" Carey.

2009-05-25T01:36:00.004+08:00

Mariah Carey is hot. She's the epitome (new word, people!!!) of hot. (Eera, Izra, betul tak I pakai???)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4SvA90J-YqM

If only I could be that size- wait! I could if I try hard enough!!!! Yes!!! Positive! No more rice. No nasi lemak. (Alaa!!!) No McD, KFC,BK etc. No soda. No Nasi Goreng Daging Mamak Style.. (But..but..but..sedap nyaaa) No more nasi kandar. (Aaahh???!!) No daging masak lemak cili padi, no nasi goreng kampung, no kuey teow.. Then what's left to eat???!!!

Reminder : Mariah Carey.

Never mind la, don't eat la if got nothing to eat. =)

I don't care la if she's big now, cause at least she's hot once(for a very long time) in her life. Pfft. That's sad, Balqis. Terrible. Pfft.

I still think she's hot now. Not too big, but bigger. She looks fantastic in Touch My Body. I can't seem to find her best pictures, but you get it, don't you? Hahaha. Yes. I can do it. Christina said, "If you can dream it, you can do it."

=)

Dear Lord, please help me getting a body like Mariah Carey's, when she was about 27?? I promise I won't wear so little. I swear, it's for my husband only. Maybe I will pakai jubah like all the time pun. (With scarf!) Ok, I know I should cover up, it's a must. And shut up. Thank you. Ameen.

Oh yeah, and if possible, I want her skin colour too!!!!!!! The 24-karat gold- spray thingie. =) Ameen.

Maybe.

2009-05-25T00:51:00.003+08:00

Maybe, just maybe, I'm having just one child. One. Or nothing more than two. If it's going to be two, I want twins, so that I don't have to go through the same thing twice. Just twice as hard at one shot. Hmm. Yes. I'd like that.

Random thoughts.

2009-05-21T03:43:00.006+08:00

Eh. I've just realized that;

1. I'm so tired entertaining some people's unwanted, selfish comments.

2. I'm tired of being confused.

3. I'm tired of losing my way. (Like seriously. I need to know my way, at least around Seremban. Pfft.)

4. I'm tired of doubting myself.

5. I hate it that that I don't finish what I started.

6, I really really hope to be a good writer one day.

7. I hate the way I write. I'm pretty darn sure I'm a bad writer, like the one that gets award for being too lousy tu.

8. Another compound from my 'beloved' uni?? **** gila. I'm so tired of paying or appealing. Let bygones be bygones la. Buang yang keruh ambil yang jernih. Like if I pay you gonna pay someone to clean it pun.

9. I like Kantoi, the song from Zee Avi. =)

10. I can't believe that I don't have Back to Basics' whole song in my laptop. Estupida. Mariah Carey's Charmbracelet lagilah.

11. I can't feel my legs.

12. The Internet is soooo sucky today.

13. I didn't do any questions for IA. But I've no homework. =)

14. Shit. It's 4. I've 10 hours before we're going back to UIA. Night-night.

15. Oh yeah, Eera? I'm sleeping over. Tau? Tau? Tau????? =)

Don't sleep.

2009-05-20T02:12:00.001+08:00

Stupid. Don't sleep. Be a good hostess. Don't fall asleep.

Für Dich.

2009-05-18T05:42:00.004+08:00

Shafiah, check your email. I'll be sending something to you in a moment. Something P&C. Okay?

Eera, we have to go to Ameenah one last time to go and get our off-campus thingie. Sometime this week.

Izra: How's Belum?

Farhah: Someone signed in using your messenger account that day. Go do something about it.

Others: Study!!!

Migraine.

2009-05-11T04:42:00.002+08:00

='(

Oww. I really need some medicine. My head is killing me. It's almost 5 and I still can't sleep. I have to take the meds with or after meal, but I can't eat anything. I just threw up. Mummy. I need you.

Sleep.

2009-05-11T01:50:00.002+08:00

So maybe I don't care anymore. I can't sleep now. Tomorrow, by noon I should be sleepy. Then I'd go to sleep. And spend the whole night not sleeping, doing God knows what. I'd probably be sleepy on Tuesday too. I now depend on Pharmaton to keep me awake. I know it's not good. I can't help it. Will I get addicted??? =( I hope not.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah!!!

2009-05-07T22:57:00.003+08:00

Just reminiscing. =)

And friends just can't be found
Like a bridge over troubled water
I will lay me down

Baby, I love you
Come, come, come into my arms
Let me know the wonder of all of you
Baby I want you now, now, now, and hold on fast
Could this be magic at last?

Don't you know, baby
Yeah, yeah
I'll be there
I'll be there
Just call my name
And I'll be there

Ich will nicht gehen, in eine Welt ohne Dich
Nichts ist so leer, wie eine Welt ohne Dich
Nichts ist so leer, wie eine Welt ohne Dich

99 Balloons.

2009-05-06T02:41:00.002+08:00

It was a very hard video to watch. I don't think I can ever be that strong. God!!! ='(

=)

2009-05-05T20:22:00.003+08:00

I wish my bolster will turn into a person. He will know probably me better than I knew myself. He will know how I feel despite all the things that I said/ didn't say. He's going to be the cuddliest (yet in-shape) human ever, haha. Oh how I wish.

I want my marriage/relationship to be like a bumpy and exciting road rather than a smooth and boring one.

Why?

Because as you can see accidents happen more on those pretty, nice, boring roads rather than the bumpy-bumpy ones. Because they make you feel sleepy. Boringgggggggg. You stop paying attention. It's the same old stuff all the time. It's nice to know that it's smooth, but... you know.
When you're in a relationship like this, you take things for granted. =( When you wake up, it's too late.

However, for the bumpy ones, you are always (almost!) alert. Notice I said bumpy and exciting; you know, the ones that make you laugh and happy? Yes. If it goes bad, it goes bad la, but it's FUNNN!!!!!!!! =) Like falling in love with.. eh, no name came up? Wah, this is B-A-D. (Mun's style)

Ok fine. Take one of my crushes. My greatest crush would be Joshua. Or Shahzan. Joshua. Shahzan. Or Herdian? But I don't think Herdian's exciting. IDK. Or maybe Amir. No. Hmm. Ed. No. He shouldn't be on the list. He's exciting though. His dimples are really deep. =)
Joshua and Shahzan. =)) I'll take 'em both, thank you.

I can't seem to conclude and see the reason of posting this post. Hmm. Pfft. Joshua, I love you!!! Shahzan, you too!!!=)
=)

To you.

2009-05-02T02:17:00.001+08:00

Again. Thank you. For everything.

I'm actually laughing. Yeah!!!!!!!!!! =)

Thank you thank you thank you.......for saving me from myself. I mean it.

ILY!!!

BFF.

2009-05-02T00:45:00.003+08:00

So the winner for Paris Hilton's My New BFF is Brittany something (season 1). She won, but she's not her BFF anymore. Awww...

Season 2 is being filmed and season 3 coming soon. Uh huh. And a guy, I believe he's called Sam Hextall, won My New British BFF.

There is a Dubai version too. How many BFFs does she want?

And Paris plans to have more BFF series; in Canada, Australia, Germany and Russia.

Amir Tochiev must be delighted. Hahahahahahaahahah!!!!!!!!!

p/s: =) I'm sorry Amir, but no one's online, there's nothing to watch, Facebook's boring, and I forgot my Twitter password. Hahaha.. Bimbo gile.

30.04.2009

2009-04-30T18:07:00.007+08:00

Familiar with the sinking feeling; that feeling of dread in the pit your stomach?
When your body tensed and you get all nervous, uneasy for whatever reason?

It happens to me when I cannot, when I refuse to accept the truth. It's like I know the truth is going to hit me soon, maybe it's already hitting me, I don't know, but I don't want to acknowledge it. Hence the migraine, nausea, sick feeling. Sometimes pretending everything's normal is the best thing that you can do. Yeah, right.

Matahari.

2009-04-30T04:46:00.004+08:00

This post is about the drama Matahari (TV3).

Imagine you throwing your daughter out of the house after :

Her husband leaves her on their wedding night for not being a virgin.
Instead of trying to console your daughter, you scold her, humiliate her.
You force her to tell you the truth.
She won't say the name of the bast*rd who took her virginity.
You make sure she knows that she's a disgrace to the family.
You throw her out of the house and disown her.

Your husband (your daughter's step dad) was the person who raped her. (But of course, you don't know that.)

Aaaaaaaaaarggggggghhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I hate Nasir Bilal Khan. I mean, since you're an actor, maybe you should try being a nice dude rather than playing the role of a rapist all the time. I mean, I'm 21 this year and how many women have you "raped" in say, 10 years???

I grew up watching you rape, man.

Come on!!!!!!!!

Esas cosas no se hacen.

2009-04-30T01:43:00.003+08:00

You shouldn't have done what you did. I'm really upset over this. I really am.

28.

2009-04-25T01:11:00.002+08:00

So. April 28th is very near. Yeah. Very.

Kisah Cintaku - Peterpan

2009-04-23T22:13:00.002+08:00

Dimalam yang sesunyi ini
Aku sendiri tiada yang menemani
Akhirnya kini ku sadari
Dia telah pergi tinggalkan diriku

Adakah semua kan terulang
Kisah cintaku yang seperti dulu
Hanya dirimu yang ku cinta dan ku kenang
Didalam hatiku takkan pernah hilang
Bayangan dirimu untuk selamanya

Mengapa terjadi kepada dirimu
Aku tak percara kau telah tiada
Haruskah ku pergi tinggalkan dunia
Agar aku dapat berjumpa denganmu

Qwerty.

2009-04-22T01:50:00.002+08:00

Updates:

I thought that I have paid off my sleeping debts but apparently I haven't. Okay. That's number one.

Number two, I have been having this nervous feeling for quite some time; when I played Monopoly at Yana's, last night when I talked to my cousin about journalism and stuff, when I read Izra's blog, when I drank just now, and now! WTF?!!! Why??!!!

Well, apparently my mom didn't reschedule my appointments with the doctors, so, yeah, I don't have to meet them. Yay!

I've messed up my room, as usual.

TM's line at my house is somewhat broken or damaged, so no one can call my house phone, and we can't call out. The Internet's down too so I'm using Voda. This is so pathetic.

I intend to go watch movie this week, if nobody wants to teman me, fine, I'll go alone. Karaoke? Emm, don't think so. The idea of singing my heart out loud alone's just too depressing.

I..

I really wish someone would come over.

Damnation.

2009-04-16T13:50:00.003+08:00

Why did she ask? I hate this. I never thought about it. Now, I can't stop thinking about it. Now, I can't study. Ceh, alasan.

=(

Shit.

2009-04-15T00:10:00.007+08:00

They should offer Comforting 101.

I seriously have no idea on how to comfort you. I'm very sorry if I've done a lousy job as a friend when you have excelled. They should also give me this test not to cry or at least control my emotions when someone is crying. I'm sure to fail, I know that. At least I can learn.

I should also be graded on my ability to shut up when needed. Like just now. Fail lagi!

But babe, I know you can do this! Don't give up! =)

But I really hope I can pass Comforting 101. No. I'm lying. I wanna get 4.0 for that.

Stop.

2009-04-14T23:13:00.004+08:00

Stop right now, thank you very much.

Just ask me to stop, and I will.
I know I've been such a clingy b*tch lately, I'm sorry if it bothers you. What am I saying? Of course it does. I should stop leaning on you when times get rough. I'm taking too much of your time. I have no idea whether I'm being a good friend to you or not. It's not fair when anything is one-sided.

I really am sorry.

I still hate me. But anyway, ballads soothe me.

2009-04-12T23:32:00.002+08:00

Mariah Carey - Music Box

When I am lost
You shine a light for me and set me free
When I am low
You wash away my tears
And take me through

The loneliness
And emptiness
Through the darkest night
Somehow I survive
Through it all

When you tell me I'm the only one you need
Sweet and tenderly
And your love
Breaks away the clouds surrounding me
All I have I want to give to thee

If I should fall
Your love is strong enough to lift me up
If I'm afraid
You chase away my fears
And take me to

A brighter place
Beyond the rain
And I feel alright
Because you're by my side
Through it all

When you tell me I'm the only one you need
Sweet and tenderly
And your love
Breaks away the clouds surrounding me
All I have I want to give to thee

You take me through
The loneliness and emptiness
And I feel alright
'Cause you're by my side

Through it all
You tell me I'm the only one you need
Sweet and tenderly
And your love
Just breaks away the clouds surrounding me
And baby all I have I want to give to thee

Want to give you all of my love
Now and forever my love
All I have are all i give to thee

I bring myself down, not other people.

2009-04-12T23:21:00.003+08:00

I can't believe that I was thinking about it, wondering and considering. I hate myself for even having the idea of doing it. I hate me. F*ck. Aaaaarrrrrghhhhhh!!!

p/s: Don't ask, don't even assume.

Ahahahahaaaaaaaaaa... YouTube's great. =)

2009-04-06T02:32:00.003+08:00

Aahahahhaa..!!!! Aarrggghhhh.!!!!! I can't take this anymore. They're too funny.

I had a chat with Nuril on MSN. It wasn't a chat, even. More like passing good links about what video to watch. I thought that the Korean guy singing Mariah Carey's Touch My Body, and We Belong Together was hilarious. Nuril thought so too. Of course, lyrics like "Who ass am I go lean on when thumbs get rub" and "If there's a camel up a hill, then it's Gong Li with me when I do, I do" made it easier to admit that the clips were too funny to ignore. Not forgetting the "Tuts my barreh, rape me in my thighs.." and "know you love my c*ck, come on and give me water dessert" and "I want you to caress my like a tropical priest." Wahahahahahaaa... You get my point.

Here's the link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vFnGYknyxJk&feature=related

Then he gave me a link to this video. Ken Lee. I thought it was a guy. Apparently it's a video of a girl auditioning for Bulgarian Idol. Ken Lee was the song that she picked. So she said she was going to sing Ken Lee by Mariah Carey which puzzled everyone. It turned out that Ken Lee was Without You by Mariah Carey. Ken Lee = Can't Live (If Living Without You), get it? Watch it, it's really really funny. I thought it was in her language mixed with some English but then the judge asked her "What's that language?" and so she said very confidently, "English." So, hahahaha. They even asked Mariah Carey's opinion on her singing. =)

Anyway, so I watched some Japanese game show thingie and it was sooooo frikkin funny that I laughed so hard which made my dad came up to my room and asked me what on earth was I doing. Nuril gave me another link to this game show (also in Japan, I think). Gaki No Tsukai No Laugh High School. I almost died of laughing too much.

Unfortunately it consists of 15 clips, which means I spent a lot of time watching all the clips, but it was worth it. Well except that the first clip was quite boring. But anyway, I loved the video. I pity those guys from the bottom of my heart. Hahahaha.. I love the part where someone's wife danced all around them and they were trying so hard not to laugh, but of course thay did anyway. If it was me, I'd lose my patience by lunch. Thanks Nuril for the links. =)

Well, I had a great night full of laughter. Lovely.
=)

The Right Man.

2009-04-01T22:13:00.005+08:00

I was chatting with Pyah earlier. The topic was about our future children, my daughter and hers especially, though we have no idea how that topic came up. Some things she said made me seriously scared like how was I to protect my daughter as she grow up. From heartbreaks, crazy people, evil influences, her safety and everything. Plus, how I shouldn't pick her husband for her as it'll make things worse if the marriage fails. My idea was to lock my daughter up forever, which of course, is a stupid thing. She said I have to raise her well and let her go be her own person. Or something like that. Duh.

Pyah gave me a situation where my daughter calls me from abroad and cries, saying she misses me. That stupid example alone broke my heart. Me. Now. Boyfriend-less Balqis.

But then she said that I have to pick the right husband to raise my kids well. Gulp. I know I don't have a boyfriend. Husband apa lagi? Damnation. I'm so scared. Imagine I picked the wrong man and ruining my baby's life because of that. ='(

So many years have gone by
Always strong, tried not to cry
Never felt like I needed any man
To comfort me in life
But I'm all made up today
A veil upon my face
But no father stands beside me
To give this bride away

Well I'm standing in the chapel
Wearing my white dress
I have waited for this moment
With tears of happiness
Here I leave behind my past
By taking the chance
I've finally found the right man

Thoughts racing fast through my mind
As I'm gazing down the aisle
That my future will mend the memories
Torn between father and child

My emotions overload
'Cause there is no hand to hold
There's no shoulder here to lean on
I'm walking all on my own

Here I go

Now I'm standing at four corners
To have and to hold
Now my love, you stand beside me
To walk life's winding road
And I owe it all to you
For taking the chance
You've shown me there's a right man
'Cause I never knew a right man

Well I'm standing in the chapel
Ready to confess
That I've waited for this moment
With tears of happiness
Now I leave behind my past
By taking the chance

Ohh

Well I'm standing at four corners
To have and to hold
Now my love, you stand beside me
To walk life's winding road
And I owe it all to you
For taking the chance

And one day my little girl
Will reach out her hand
She'll know I found the right man

Ameen. For the last three lines. Haha. =)

p/s: My dad is a good dad. =) Alhamdulillah.

Uuuuuuuuuuuu.....

2009-03-20T15:29:00.006+08:00

So I started doing my preparation for tomorrow. I washed some clothes. I printed some materials. While surfing the net for some PS stuff, I came across this picture.

Guess what? It's a wedding gown made from 12500 CONDOMS!!! Haahahahhaaaa... I can't understand why I keep finding stuff like this.. Emmm.. Hehehehe..

=)

The End.

2009-03-20T13:12:00.003+08:00

Wow. This semester's coming to an end. Finally. I don't know why am I writing this blog when I'm supposed to clean up the room, read some notes, do my assignments, get some sleep, do the laundry, or even prepare myself for tomorrow's Public Speaking finals.

I don't think I'm ready for finals. Not for FIE, FIQH 2, and MIS at least. At least. God, I'm doomed.

Anyway.

I was checking out pictures in Facebook. And I checked out Jaleh's 20th birthday party celebration photos. Wow. I know that you're hot, but aaaa... Nevermind.

Again, anyway.

I wanna go home. I really want to. I want my bed, I want the maid to do my laundry, I want to hangout with my friends. I want nasi putih with daging masak lemak cili padi. And telur bungkus. And brocolli and mushroom. And some teh. I want my mom to massage my head, it's pounding so hard. I want to hug Rina and Sarah, and Mama and Papa.

I think I need a break. From what, I have no idea. Till then, this post has reached the end. Adios, amigos.

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(Untitled)

2009-03-03T01:31:00.003+08:00

Merci. Gracias. Thank you. Terima kasih.

I can't seem to thank you enough for everything you have done even if I say it in all the languages in the world.

Please know who you are. I hope you do. I thank you from the bottom of my heart; thank you for caring, for being there all the time when I needed you.

Thank you for listening, thank you for all the small talks - know that they mean a lot. Thank you for being you, and I thank God for you.

Thank you for being a real friend.

I Love You.

February 25th 2009

2009-02-25T18:46:00.003+08:00

Done with pre-reg. Got my accounting subjects. Alhamdulillah. One good thing is that I'm underload for sem 1. I have better chances than other people to get the subjects that I want manually, insyaAllah.

I don't know what to do. Everything is so complicated right now. I know what I should do, but they sound so ridiculous right now. MIS? The last thing on my mind. Maybe not. Still.

I'm a terrible hostess. I'm very sorry, N. It's just not the right time. It's a horrible time.

p/s: I can't believe I scolded the finance division dude (Hasbullah - the boss) and how nice the people in IT Dept were. Wow. Still, thanks Hasbullah.

Smile like you mean it.

2009-02-14T01:49:00.005+08:00

Smile like you mean it. Pretend to be happy. Be friendly. Act as if you don't mind. Be strong. Big girls don't cry. I don't care. Don't stop to lick your wounds, charge back. Smile. Like nothing happened. Just smile..

Heaven Knows

2009-01-21T22:29:00.005+08:00

If life is a river and your heart is a boat
And just like a water baby, baby born to float
And if life is a wild wind that blows way on high
And your heart is Amelia dying to fly

Heaven knows no frontiers
And I've seen heaven in your eyes

And if life is a bar room in which we must wait
'Round the man with his fingers on the ivory gates
Where we sing until dawn of our fears and our fates
And we stack all the dead men in self addressed crates

In your eyes faint as the singing of a lark
That somehow this black night
Feels warmer for the spark
Warmer for the spark
To hold us 'til the day
When fear will lose it's grip
And heaven has its way

Heaven knows no frontiers
And I've seen heaven in your eyes

If your life is a rough bed of brambles and nails
And your spirit's a slave to man's whips and man's jails
Where you thirst and you hunger for justice and right
And your heart is the pure flame of man's constant night

In your eyes faint as the singing of a lark
That somehow this black night
Feels warmer for the spark
Warmer for the spark

To hold us 'til the day
When fear will lose it's grip
And heaven has its way
And heaven has its way
When all will harmonise
And you know what's in our hearts
The dream will realise

Heaven knows no frontiers
And I've seen heaven in your eyes

Heaven knows no frontiers
And I've seen heaven in your eyes

The Wedding.

2008-12-26T03:30:00.009+08:00

I can't sleep. I'm going to drive to UIA tomorrow morning. Well, actually in a few short hours. But anyway. I can't seem to get my mind of how I want my wedding to be. Can't blame a girl for fantasizing. Ideas just get into my damn head. Cakes - what flavor, how many tiers, color, design, blah, blah, blah. I love white-colored cake. But I love chocolate flavor. A reminder: A bride should not, or maybe it's just me, I shouldn't eat on my wedding day. I can eat, sure, but not the way I eat whenever there are not many people watching. I have to cut down on food. NO more rice, chocolate, and sweets. And fast food. And soda. Aaaahhh!!!

Above is the cake that I wish to have on my wedding day. Wow.

The table decoration.

Aah. I want you people who would be attending my wedding to be transported. Haha. By a banana boat. Woohoo. I'm pretty confused about my wedding theme now.

The wedding invitation. Or something like it. Preferably a booklet. Olive green color.

The edible chocolate menu. Sorang satu!

I have to be extremely rich or I have to marry an extremely rich guy. Lucky one of us. Huh.

Change of topic.

Maybe I should be a wedding planner or something. Seems exciting.

Ok, off to bed. Night everyone.

Life's Update.

2008-12-11T03:47:00.002+08:00

Wow. The holiday is coming to an end.
So far, the things that I've done and happened this hols were;

1. Getting really really depressed.

2. Lie down and do nothing.

3. Ordered DVDs (Desperate Housewives season 3-5, Bones Season 3-4, Gossip Girl Season 2) and got sick after watching the second disc of the third season of Desperate Housewives.

4. Cancelled a trip to Malacca which my friends and I planned for quite a while because that very same morning, that very second when we almost reached the highway, my dad had a nightmare on which I was involved in car accident (and died, I think) and the police came over to tell him that. So, I had to go back and hang out at Jusco. Pfft. He was really freaked, and he gave me RM100 not to go to Malacca or anyway outside Seremban, so I guess it's fine.

5. I got in a lot of arguments.

6. On Dec 10, we have this family thingie at Sime Darby Convention Centre. I was tired as we just got back from KL the other day and I didn't feel like going. Mom too. But anyway, it's a celebration of my grandma's birthday as well as Farid and Aunty Kanie's. Good food. The best part? When the car broke down in Nilai afterwards. Kamal came and pick us up and sent us home. Kamal is a friend of Harriz. Anyway, The car was MyVi and I missed my roommates and friends really badly.

7. I have a lot of insect bites on my body. My calves are ruined!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! They were scar-less!!!!!!!!!!! Arghhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!

8. I think, I want to work in Bank Negara. They get 40% off MPH books. Ain't that great?

9. Eera came over to my house. On which I think I was a terrible hostess. *I'm sorry, Eera.*

10. I seriously want to be healthier. In everyway that is possible. Ameen.

11. I want to start working at a salary of Rm 3500, like Harriz. Ameen.

12. I need a good hug. Like the bear hug Eera and Pyah gives. Hmm.

Alaaa...

2008-11-13T12:38:00.002+08:00

I miss my roommates. Already. And good food. My mom's working and she didn't cook yesterday. Makan burger Ijan je. Eera!!!!!!!!!!! Datang la sini!!! Pyah, jom. Ey, farhah dan semua yang berkaitan. I x gi kot esok. Ada masalah emosi. =(

Blog update.

2008-11-13T12:31:00.002+08:00

Balqis is pissed. Pfftttt. Because of a certain someone, yes. Memang carik pasal. The weather. Her left knee. (I know peera, nanti I gi clinic.) Huh. Lagi? Banyak benda. Pfftt.. Oh. Yes. Wallahualam.

Crap.

2008-10-06T01:13:00.000+08:00

Definition:	Something that does not have or make sense.
Synonyms:	balderdash, blather, bunkum, claptrap, drivel, garbage, idiocy, piffle, poppycock, rigmarole, rubbish, tomfoolery, trash, twaddle

This better be in my wedding playlist!

2008-06-28T23:26:00.003+08:00

Sheila on 7: Saat aku lanjut usia

Saat aku lanjut usia
Saat ragaku terasa tua
Tetaplah kau slalu di sini
Menemani aku bernyanyi

Saat rambutku mulai rontok
Yakinlah ku tetap setia
Memijit pundakmu hingga kau tertidur pulas

Genggam tanganku saat tubuhku terasa linu
Kupeluk erat tubuhmu saat dingin menyerangmu
Kita lawan bersama, dingin dan panas dunia
Saat kaki tlah lemah kita saling menopang
Hingga nanti di suatu pagi salah satu dari kita mati
Sampai jumpa di kehidupan yang lain

Saat perutku mulai buncit
Yakinlah ku tetap tersexy
Dan tetaplah kau slalu menanti
Nyanyianku di malam hari

Genggam tanganku saat tubuhku terasa linu
Kupeluk erat tubuhmu saat dingin menyerangmu
Kita lawan bersama, dingin dan panas dunia
Saat kaki tlah lemah kita saling menopang
Hingga nanti di suatu pagi salah satu dari kita mati
Sampai jumpa di kehidupan yang lain